Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Follow up

My Goddess V...

she told you what happened....

our text messages were discovered...
lesson learned.. always clear text messages..
always clear url's (lesson learned earlier)

well... the discovery caused much pain, emotional, with me, V and my wife.. the past almost 2 weeks now..

My wife told me.. 'I want to hate you'

V tells me.. " just tell me what you want"

lots more.. but V has been such emotional support, the past year, always there.. wife now monitoring every move at home, internet, phone calls, checking my cell phone,.. I am in a state of paranoia plus..
I just don't know what to do..

V said in her last post,.. she felt confused by me.. she has given a LOT to me..... and she felt I was 'jerking her around' even if it was unintentional...

I was(am) hurting everybody..... I am in a state of confusion, emotional isolation, sexual island... alone.. without anything....

wife hates me... V not knowing what to do... V wanting to give me support....

I want to talk to V.. I want her voice in my ear...

I need something solid, something warm, soft.. to just hold at this point in time..

I have a cold bed...

I am traveling this week.. normally I would be talking to V every night... long...
She has other commitments anyway.. I knew about before the discovery of the cell phone messages....
even if I texted her.. she couldn't talk....

V has been such a light in my life the past year...
She has shown me many things... she has always been there..
emotionally, sexually(via phone) even just a friend some times..
but she has given me a LOT, A LOT.... more than I ever asked, freely openly...
she has invested a lot of emotion in me.. in ME

I want her still.,...
I want her always...


YET this week I am alone....
totally alone

1 comment:

  1. Perhaps you need your own cell phone. New account, new number. Billing via E-mail.

    Don't give in, or give up the woman you love.

    ReplyDelete