Teasing and wanting...

Driving home.. texted V..

she just got out of work, working late again.. I was speeding home, late myself..
wife expecting me home for dinner..
not enough over lap to talk to V..

Text from V later in the evening, "horny"

later " I am all showered, in bed, smelling good"
OH MY what a text to get the juices flowing..
trying to get away, to get some time with V, BUT....
being watched oh so closely...

"I am so horny" she texts....

I just can't get away.. too dangerous.. I want to SO much..

such teasing on my end.. such wanting on both our ends...

Pssst

Tuesday and Wed.. I get a text message from V.. "Pssst I am feeling horny"

Multiple times..

SHE really wanted me.. she really wanted to get off...

I couldn't talk Tuesday night.. BUT we did hook up Wednesday night..
HOT, she was so VERY HOT.....

THEN last night.. I had some free time.. late...
She wasn't in the horny mood of the previous 2 days... we talked a long time..
until I found a parking place in a motel parking lot that afforded me some private space.

OH wow.. V sent me on an orgasmic ride I have never experienced before..
over and over and over.. she wouldn't let me stop.. I was gasping for air, the windows steaming up from the heat off my body.. she refused to let me stop.. orgasm after orgasm..
SO INTENSE.. I was completely exhausted.. COMPLETELY...
and is the way with me.. that orgasmic intensity frees me up inside. I become open and relaxed.. still today.

Rise and falls of orgasmic intensity.. We have hit a rise in intensity again..

Busy-ness

I haven't said so.. but you could guess by my posts, both v and I have been busy at our respective non-blogging lives, non-phone sex lives.
I would laugh, but it isn't much funny really, ironic maybe. Desire is there, ALWAYS there.

There is even some potential for some real life sex for me.. other than my wife.. BUT.. things don't ever seem to work out with that woman..

Anyway with V, we talk, chat, IM, text.. contact. This past week has been more with our respective daily tensions and such. I know she was feeling a bit frisky last night, I just couldn't get away. TOO much of a watchful eye upon me, no time, no space...
arrrggg

This coming weekend though.. I have some freedom SO....

Some Tao

From the Tao te Ching 22

various translations of the end:

Be really whole,
And all things will come to you.

or

"Be broken to be whole,"
was that mistaken?

Truly, to be whole
is to return.

or

The ancients said, "Accept and you become whole",
Once whole, the world is as your home.
---------------

Just something to think about today.

What does sex mean to you?

I don't do those weekly questions. There is one TMI, Tuesday, two much information.
well this week the bonus question was: What does sex mean to you?

I have been thinking about that question all week. One blogger Ms. I wrote this response to the question:

What does sex mean to you?
Sex means pleasure and biology and connection and a natural way of being. I do know that sex is not one thing, but it it many things; like a shape-shifting mirage, perhaps it appears exactly how one needs it to in the moment. Refuge? Yes, it can be that. Relaxation? Sure.

Sex is the participation in the gigantic mosaic of human life. It says to the world--to one's self--I am here. I am breathing. I am alive, and I elect to participate in life. It is nothing more and nothing less than validating one's own humanity.


I was thinking of trying to add to her words. To me I can't add anything eloquent. For me all I can add is...

I want to be totally open, to share what I have inside me..

that is what I want..

I don't want to take something from anybody..

I want to give, give what I have inside.

I want to give pleasure.

I want to connect and co-create pleasure with a lover.

Intimacy

I was reading on another blog this idea:

If you care about having great sex, then you need to care about intimacy.

It now seems to me, like a 'duh' why of course. Because sex is not just sex, sex is intimacy, sex is being open with the other person, sex is 'sharing your soul'.
Sex, great sex is not about cumming as fast as you can, it is about riding the wave of ecstasy together. Being calm in your mind to share, to be in that orgasmic place and share that with your lover.... being intimate with your lover.

This is what I am learning, this is what I am experiencing with V.

And then...

Just when I tell myself, ok due to life'e events, things will just be calm for a while, a week or two, then teasing ramps up.
Last night driving back home late, I text V things ramp up quickly, I call, we talk.
How close to home are you? she asks, when are you expected home?
Put the cell phone on speaker, pinch your nipples.. yes harder, HARDER..

Her erotic voice in my ear again, such arousing sounds. her voice in general is so pleasing, but when she slows down, gets softer, gets into erotic mode, my body responds immediately, I instantly get hard, instantly get aroused...

She know EXACTLY what to say, when to say it, how to arouse me like no other person, she know what I need.

After a bit I find a commuter lot.. or should I say "cummuter lot" park next to a big 15 passenger van.. and we get to play for a while.
Very hot, very erotic. She got aroused, I went over the top..
'give me your orgasms' she would say.. then 'say it, say you are giving me your orgasms'
'give me everything, say it' I do, I did. I became lost in an orgasmic frenzy, totally spent, feeling amazing, joyous.
What is amazing about our encounters is it is just phone sex, long distance phone sex. But the words, imagery, her knowing what to tell me to do, to get us both aroused, multiple orgasms.. all of that...

The feelings of arousal and then of the bliss that follows such release, is beyond words. The floating, the tension gone, calmness in my mind and body.

I can always tell if V is feeling good afterwords. She laughs this little laugh. It is so sweet, so erotic actually. I love her post orgasmic laugh!

Everything slowing down

V has been quite stressed from her work, and is also a bit under the weather. SO everything has slowed down. Arousal, teasing everything. Life intrudes on the sexual all the time so we shouldn't be any different. We still talk most days. The evenings have been comforting for her really. I am glad to be of some comfort to and for her. Being 'of service' can take many forms, and just being there works sometimes.

I actually enjoy the sound of her breath as she falls asleep. I get a feeling like I am just holding her as she her breath changes and she totally relaxes, lets her stresses of her day go, and she goes off to sleep (the past 2 nights).

Maybe the weekend will bring some renewed energy.

Wanting to feel something

I don't mention my home life much here for a reason. I will just say I don't get a feeling of appreciation, or of fulfillment or of 'feeling something' at home.

I was excited yesterday, some good things happened, not a big deal really, but I was really upbeat, happy, excited. In some people, in me anyway this can translate to being aroused, that good happy energy just goes into arousal and I think of sex and wanting to share that. Well that wasn't happening at home last night.

I texted V a few times, told her of my arousal. BUT a phone call, a phone sex session wasn't going to happen either, too risky last night. Not intended to be arousal and denial, but that what it turned out to be. Last night, and today, this morning, woke up aroused, VERY aroused. Now days I just don't WANT to have an orgasm totally solo. I just don't want it. There is sometimes marital sex, but not very often.
When I feel like I did last night and today, I want to 'feel' V, I want to hear her voice. I was laying awake and I could feel myself dropping into that zone, I could hear V's voice in my head, what she would say. I could ride that edge of orgasm without touching any part of my body, just thought, and erection. I didn't have an orgasm, I wanted one though.
SO today V didn't tell me but I thought the same thing one day last week, so on my own I am wearing a cock ring to work. All day. It reminds me of her, I feel her, feel that arousal for her all the time. This is keeping me on that edge today.

I never know

I never know how a sexual encounter with V will go. Every time is different. Being phone sex, mind play at its extreme.
There are visual fantasies we play out, some really hot ones we redo like the collar on me in the sex club where V forces me down to give her oral. That one is extremely erotic for me, and for V in the control she has over me.

There are fantasies that just come and go.
Sometimes it is just straight 'sex'. V will say sometimes you need to just be fucked tonight! wow yeah that is hot really hot.

Then there are just her telling me touch that slit on the end of your cock, as she hears my voice change, yes there slower, faster...
There is; touch that place behind your balls.. this is becoming a favorite for both of us. I can achieve multiple orgasms touching that place faster and deeper than any other place. V gets a real treat here, she cums multiple times herself. Sometimes I am so into my own orgasms I don' t realize she has cum. Then there are times I hear her becoming orgasmic, and a few times I have just said 'cum with me' and pow she does.. those are the most erotic times.. usually after I have had many, many orgasms.

We usually end up with me finally cumming, after 20 or so orgasms. BUT not always.

Always different.

Always a joy.