Monday, December 22, 2008

The intensity of today's feelins with denial

This morning-- I wrote V some in emails--

There was a lot of just piled up frustration. It got all mixed in my head. I was aroused upon waking, then other things happened. Deep frustration. Getting it out in an email to V helped a lot, just writing that email to her getting the frustrations solid out of my head, then I remembered to breathe.. I have been doing like a meditation breathing all day.. breathe in down the front of my body into my 'balls' then breathe out back up my spine to my head. Sometimes I clenched my pelvic floor, (in other words did my keigle, contract the pc muscle). Channeling that sexual charged energy throughout my body.

V sent me a text telling me she had sent an email response. I read later read that and it made me feel SO good...
Part of what she said was "be patient...and know that i do have your best interests at heart...and when you do will be all that more is what i want..."

that was powerful, very powerful, V knows exactly what to say to me, and I DO know she has my best interests at heart, I do know that, remembering that in times of frustration is what today seems to be about, and remembering to breathe.

I am walking around with this sexual energy flowing through my entire body, pulsating, desire...
While driving around and listening to music and just breathing I touched my trigger point for orgasm many times today. I have not had an orgasm, I am controlling it, but I can touch it at a moments notice, I am riding a wave today..


  1. It sounds like you had a very therapeutic day. I see that you are working on retaining your sexual energy whilst refraining from release. Good.

  2. if you keep it up this blog could prove to be very interesting. I was in the same space many years ago....

  3. Interesting post. You are so going to tear up the Goddess when you get a hold of her.

  4. @ V-This was a very therapeutic day.
    @bdenied thank you for coming by. I will be looking forward to your comments as this develops between me and V.
    @ rage-- uh... YEAH that is exactly what I want to do! ;)